Sarcasm

"They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit", yeah well phone in and vote reality tv isn't exactly clever.

Body Language

They say about 95% of human interaction is non verbal, that means in my arsenal of interaction I'm stuck to 5% or just speech. This poses a problem. 95% body language, 5% not, well this isn't strictly true I suppose because I can gesticulate with some of my body such as my face. So one could say out of 100% usage of my communication weaponry I use about 30% of it, that is all of what I feel is available to me. I use 25% of that 95% body language and a full 5% everything else. This does not make things easy for me, you see, if you use body language it leaves room for interpretation and if you overstep a boundary you can step back. If however, you use words and overstep a boundary, you my friend are screwed, it is really hard to take a word back. Take for instance trying to comfort someone, giving them a hug on the spur of the moment is better than asking if they want one or even asking if they are OK. If you think how often you respond to something without a word, then consider how to do this with just your head, this is my position. So communication with the other side of the species is unbelievable tricky and embarrassing, my body knows what to do but can't, I am stuck with words. Words mind you are very useful and meaningful if you find the right ones in the correct combination.

Google +1

Oh my this is so cool, I think it made me have a nerdgasm. I stumbled across a tool called google desktop and it is fantastic, it has a side bar which is one of the features of vista. On this side bar you can install gadgets which are basically widgets like on a mac. So far I have a music player, virtual flowers a key counter and an analogue clock on mine. Oh and it is transparent.

Cool check it out, google desktop

Casino

Hi

I went to the casino last night, it was great fun, I went with £50 and only lost £14 by the end of the night. I think I played every game except for the slots. There was one called Caribbean stud poker where you play the dealer, like blackjack but with poker hands with a progressive jackpot of £300,000 for a royal flush and £30,000 for a straight. I got 20 chips for that and left with about 8, then I moved on to the next table, casino brag. This was like the previous game only with 3 cards and no progressive jackpot, you could win £100 on that if you got a good hand, this was the best game and I lasted a long time before I got fed up, I got 15 chips on that and left with more. I had a little go on blackjack but the cards were to high. Then finally I put 10 on red at blackjack and lost, after that I called it quits. Overall with good money management, responsibility and a cool head, good fun is to be had in a casino.

Techniques

Brag -

Always play the pair plus extra game, Raise on any pair and always raise on anything equal to or higher than Q-6-4.

Caribbean Stud Poker -

1. Always raise with a pair or higher.

2. Always fold with less than the dealer.

3. Always play the power/bonus button.

Roulette -

IS COMPLETELY RANDOM AND CANNOT BE BEATEN!!!

Blackjack -

There is what we call a basic strategy but it is tricky and need to be mastered.

Remember the house always wins so quit when your ahead.

Bye for now.

Responsibe Gaming
Wizard of Odds

Hi

Hi

Just a short filler, I am working on something for you. In the mean time here are my favourite free applications/websites.

Google Earth - I implore you to download this atlas
Firefox - Web Browser
AVG Free Edition - Free Virus Protection
Falling Sand Game - Physics Toy
Runescape - Free MMORPG
Windows Defender - Free Spyware Protection
Have Fun, Bert.

Any issues leave a comment.

Merry Christmas

Hi.

Merry Christmas, if your not into christmas happy holidays. Well a new year approaches so let me give a run down of my achievments during 2006 and then my goals for 2007.

In the end I failed my year at university, since then I re-enrolled on a different course ( computer studies ) this is a more all round IT course with modules in programming C# and Web Scripting which I like a lot. So far I am doing well but assesments are coming up so panic. Oh and I can't access a lab due to a broken lift.

I'm sure if I think about it for long enough I achieved something, oh I made some friends on the MD Forum. I won a singing competition ( no idea ) and I wore tights ( nope no clue ).

Anyway no reason for dwelling here are my goals for next year:
Don't Pass Uni this year, Merit or Distinction it. (better than pass)
Maybe make a better website
Go Clubbing or Something
Get a lover

Ok that last one is more for fun but the other stuff could come usefull, my ultimate goal is to not need a job but unlikely.

Bye.

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaack!

Hi

Well I am back, my internet has been down for so long hence no posts for ages. Seen as I use the internet for everything my whole life has literally been on hold for a month. Now it is back up and running so I am all up to speed. While my life has been non existent for so long I wrote a document to post about going to the rocky horror show, but did not get chance to post it so here it is:

Sorry for the delay lets just call the reason artistic difference concerning apparantly wanting to shag everyone, allegedly. Some people apparantly see me as a pygmy chimp... oh well if you dont know of QI you will not understand. Anyway on with the show...

For one night only Bert was from the planet transylvania ( trans... well I know it was trans something?!) because me and some of my mates from a secret society ( well it isnt too secret I suppose but it sounds better ) went to Darlington Civic Theatre to see the rocky horror show. I got to go in drag, which erm I probably enjoyed a bit too much... although some people did not dress up and looked like right tw... melons. On a serious note the fishnets were surprisingly warm, of course once they go on the next logical step is the make up and to be honest things sort of progress downwards from there. No I mean downwards as in get worse, sheesh you people are sick. Really though it was fun and I would do it again if I had to I say, *evil laugh* dont know what the whole stigma is to be serious. Let's just say I still got the tights...

I will leave you to ponder that, then I will tell you how much I am loving university so far this time around.

Bye for now.