Hello, me again. I'm not finished yet, I still have three more points to whinge about yet. I think I have already gone on long enough about my failed attempt to be an artist. I have already established that I don't have one artistic bone in my body. However, never one to be beaten I decided to take a step back and set my sights on something else. I remember in my youth how I would spend hours going to choir with my Grampy, I was even in the school choir for quite a while and at one point I was in a quartet which was fun. In short I was an “ok” singer as part of a team. I am part Welsh so that probably helped a little bit. However, as I grew older and my disability progressed going to choir with my Grampy happened less and less until I totally stopped going. The only time that I would sing now was in the back of the Car or in the school choir. Well my sister is incredibly talented at singing so I felt I should probably stop trying to compete with that. I lingered in the school choir for a while until they have some kind of weird coup and kicked me out. I might be exaggerating that a little bit but it did feel a lot like they seemed to target me. What actually happened there was that due to my disability I went to a school 6 or 7 miles away from where I lived. There were many different after-school clubs but I could only really go to one which was wheelchair basketball. This was a sport that I got a lot out of in a short period of time. The school choir however was at dinnertime so I could do both. What would happen was people who were not even in the choir would hide in the corridor and wind up the dinner ladies. The solution that the school chose was to move the choir to after-school at the expense of just one member, me. Anyway, it's more than 15 years since that and I'm not the kind of person to hold a grudge for that long. Nowadays the only time I would sing would be with loads of people that cannot sing, my fellow cripples or on sing star. Come to think of it I think that games quite rude to me as well. That's a rant for another day though. A few years ago when I went on holiday to the Lake District with a few of my friends we had a talent show. I practiced for weeks and remembered all the words to my song which was its all coming back to me now. Everyone said I was brilliant. I would say to them “no I am not!” They would insist, so eventually I caved and thought I must still have it. This must be how all the really terrible acts end up on X factor. I would just love someone to say to me that I am not an excellent singer but I was okay considering the circumstances. This never happened. From that day I always said I could use my computer to record a single. I got all the equipment out and put it on the side and stayed there for two years. Quite recently I thought that I might as well do it. I found a backing track to Enrique, layered the actual version with him singing on top of this and then I sang along with him. Then I took his voice of till only I remained. I took another sip of wine and hit play. It was the most horrendous noise I have ever heard in my entire life. I cannot even begin to describe how much I despise the sound of my own voice. Never before have I actually really wanted to shoot myself in the chin. With a massive smiling grin the universe bitch slapped me in the face and kicked me square in the nuts. Turns out I can sing anymore. I could have been a pop star but no!
Well that's the end of that for now. I find this quite therapeutic so until next time, later.